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  • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

  • I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

  • We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

  • Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

  • The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER

  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

  • I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

  • He who laughs last thinks slowest!

  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

  • A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  • Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.

  • There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

  • Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

  • I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

  • Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now .

  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

  • I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

  • Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

  • Double your drive space - delete Windows!

  • What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

  • Assassins do it from behind.

  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

  • Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

  • I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

  • Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

  • I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

  • Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

  • When there's a will, I want to be in it.

  • Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

  • I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

  • All generalizations are false, including this one.

  • "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

  • Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

  • My computer isn't that nervous...it's just a bit ANSI.

  • Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.

  • Honey, I Formatted the Kid!

  • Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!

  • Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.

  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

  • Hex dump: Where witches put used curses...

  • Never violate the Prime Directory! C:\

  • Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...

  • Maniac: An early computer built by nuts...

  • Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk...

  • Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes...

  • Life would be much easier if I had the source code.

  • C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.

  • ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.

  • How do I set my laser printer on stun?

  • "Today's subliminal thought is:"

  • 'Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.'

  • '.... now touch these wires to your tongue!'

  • Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."

  • According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

  • It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

  • RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!

  • Computers are only human.

  • This time it will surely run.

  • I just found the last bug.

  • The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

  • Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature. 

  • The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.

  • On a clear disk you can seek forever. 

  • If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. 

  • Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...

  • If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

  • Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...

  • Microwave: Signal from a friendly micro...

  • Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...

  • Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.

  • From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*

  • This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.

  • Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.

 
 

 

 

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