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.:. .:. Questions to Ponder .:.


  • Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

  • Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

  • Is it possible to have a civil war?

  • If God dropped acid, would he see people?

  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

  • If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  • Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

  • Why do people ask where the self-help section is at bookstores?

  • She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

  • Are all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets, going as ghosts, really going as mattresses?

  • If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

  • Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

  • Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  • What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

  • Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

  • Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

  • If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

  • Is Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

  • Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

  • Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

  • If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

  • If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

  • If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

  • If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

  • When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

  • Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Isn't it just stale bread to begin with?

  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

  • Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

  • Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

  • Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite things?

  • If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

  • Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?

  • If "I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language, then is "I Do" the longest sentence?

  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

  • If the parsley farmer goes into debt, do you garnish his wages?

  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

  • Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you still touch it to be sure?


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